Porn-E-Oke by the Bay

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Eleven PM. Hunters Point. It's pitch black. Eerie silence fills the air as I walk the down the path to the point at  Heron's Head Park, India Basin- a reclaimed wetland area in a dilapidated part of the city. For the intrepid the sojourn brought a night of uncensored fun. Our host, KJ Paul, the Grandfather of Porn-E-Oke, took us a trek to the tip of a peninsula where the overwhelming sound of silence always drowns out the screams of... well, whatever.

Path to Heron's Head Point.

The weather was typical for a late July evening: Fifty five degrees, westerly winds of eight to ten miles per hour, humidity hovering at around ninety-five percent, and no worries for the hearty. Paul, John, Becca, George, Scott, Melissa, Camille, Rob, and I had made the trek out to the Point to get our Porn karaoke on. Screw last call! screw The Man! We all had come to sing out loud and no m@therf#cker was going to tell us when to stop! Paul's portable flash-mob-karaoke-show-in-a-baby-stroller is a thing of beauty: Two car batteries provide reliable power for up to eleven hours of karaoke bliss. 

KJ Paul

Who's singing Island Girl? Why, no other than Scott and George. There are so many songs that marry so well with Porn-E-Oke, and as the photos shows, this song is one of the best.

And that was only one of many songs dedicated to the love of porn and percussion. Nobody stripped down to their birthday suits that evening but it was just as well. Stage fright (think shrinkage) usually prevails.

Here are some more photos of the night.

What's so damn funny, Paul?

Melissa exposes some skin.

John looks on as Becca revives George from his marathon porn session with Scott.

There's porn goin' on out there!

 History was made that night. A precedent set. No other Porn karaoke on the planet has ever taken place at night in a wetland preserve adjacent to a power plant, a shipyard, and a barrio. To be there singing to the Seals and Herons and ghost ships was an experience to remember. Porn will never be viewed or sung about in the same way, again.

Related articles: The Best Car-aoke Beta Test, Ever!!!

My First Karaoke Gig

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The first time doing something new is usually a nerve-wracking experience. Such was my first night working hosting Karaoke. It was nerve-wracking, scary, exciting, and also, way fun!

My debut happened last night at Celestine's Fine Dining, in Oakland. My mentor, Glenny Kravitz, would guide me through the intricacies of running a karaoke show from start to finish. Since this was only the second Thursday night of the Kravitz era at Celestine's, we thought it would be a slow night and I would have plenty of time to learn how to set-up our gear, engineer the sound system, and manage the song queue with the karaoke software. It would be a smooth evening, right? Fail! Not two minutes into our show did a group of 15 people walk through the door ready to sing. So much for the easy night Ash Wednesday, now it is a trial by fire! Ten more people arrived five minutes later and away we went with a full list of singers. Add to that it was the owner's birthday! Add ten more people and soon it was a big party.

Mostly I handled the queue while Glenny showed me how to adjust the sound for each song. By now, my brain was on overdrive trying to absorb all the information funneling into my brain all at once. I made a few mistakes during the course of the evening, and Glenny let me make them, yet most of the time I was able to handle the pressure and keep everyone singing, and happy. San Francisco Karaoke Mafia member John Baker showed up with his crooning talent and worked the crowd into a dancing frenzy. All in all, it was a great evening hosting songs to a vibrant and fun crowd of people who love to have a good time. Thanks Glenny for all your help, and thanks to Celestine, for ushering in the newest karaoke club to Oakland.

So, if you live in the East Bay and are looking for a good place to sing karaoke on a Thursday evening, look no further than Celestine's Fine Dining. Cheers!

Man Walks In To Stray Bar, Gets Amnesia

Amnesia, Tuesday, June 22, 2010 and Stray Bar, Friday, June 25, 2010

Okay, I know it is unusual for me to write about two different venues in the same post. The reason I am condensing these nights is a demanding daytime schedule that has left me with precious little time for writing. Let me just say, however, that I had a great time at each bar.

Starting Amnesia last Tuesday night, a few guys got together to host live band karaoke followed by Glenny Kravitz with his Amnesia karaoke night, now in it's 10th year. The band were slow to get things started, but soon they had the crowd on their feet dancing and singing along to their own sometimes out of time and improvised renditions of popular songs. It was fun to watch. Next time, I'll make sure to go to their website to sign up for a song, in advance. Next, it was the Glenny Kravitz's turn to make even the worst Amnesiac remember Tuesday night karaoke. A fun time is guaranteed when the Karaoke Shark is in the house!

Next, and again starring the crazy, irreverent Glenny Kravitz is Stray Bar's Friday night karaoke on Pride Weekend. What could be more fun? I'll tell you, it is amazing feeling for a singer when a bar is packed yet only a few people are singing. All night long the rotation ranged from 4 to 7 people. And we singers were collectively happy as F*ck about it! Glenny kept things grooving along, doling out some serious karaoke roulette for those who dared. The crowd, even though most of them came just to socialize and drink, made the night by being so freakin' nice! They are some of the most cordial and well-mannered bar peeps I have met in a long time. I would like to thank everyone at Stray Bar that night, for such a memorable evening!

Now, for some interesting photos from both nights. Additional photos will be available for viewing at Ash Wednesday Karaoke Insider's Group, on Facebook. Enjoy!

What Birthdays, Comics, and Scooters Have in Common

Saturday, June 19, 2010

If you answered Ash Wednesday, then you're correct. Truth is, I love scooters and motorcycles as much as I love karaoke. And today is my friend George's Superhero birthday karaoke celebration at Caffeinated Comics AND The 24 Heures Du Rage scooter rally in San Francisco. Stay tuned for photos from both events, beginning around 4:30pm.

So, I left the Scooter Rage rally to celebrate George's Birthday. It's okay, I am riding the 9-11 leg for team Corazzo-Motosport. But for now, it's all about George and karaoke. There are a number of people here in costume, including Claudia in her Catwoman suit, looking hot, and Captain KJ Scott at best guess looking like some kind of lizard. Here come more people now...  Claudia sang "Bad Girls" followed by Ann who with "Money Money Money."  Meanwhile, back at the SFMC, Matt just boarded the team bike, a.k.a., The White Hawk.

Kitty is "Reminiscing" as the superfriends stuff their faces at the super food table. Everyone just looks so super!

There are enough superheroes here to align the planet, but are they powerful enough to sing in key? We'll see...

Some devil'ey superhero chick just walked in the door. I think it's Tana...
George sings "Born Again."


Becca sings "Yesterday" and looks smashing in her non-costume. How you cover her natural superhero looks with a lowly costume? John simply wouldn't allow it!

SuperBoner flew in like the wind. Or did he make wind on his way into
CaffCom?

Blonde Aztec hero sang "Born To Be Alive," and SuperMechBunny sang "Whole Lotta Love." Now Anna's singing "Come Sail Away". So many damn drunk superheroes, so little crime...

SuperBoner says Don't Stop Til You Get Enough! Obviously, his appetite is strong! I think he needs to solve more crimes with his mighty power sword!

I just got word that Katie is riding leg three for Team Corrazo-Motosport.
Go Katie!




"Be Somebody" and maybe someday you will sing like Kitty. Or you can "Cannonball" like I just did! What we like here is consistency, and birthday boy is dueting with anyone and everyone. Later, he may show you how to tummystick fight!

Oh BatGirl, haven't you some sleuthing to do?

Damn, it's like the Power Exchange in here! Hizzle doin' the nasty on stage while the smell of fried food permeates the air. It's so wrong!!!
It's getting late. My scooter team is calling me to ride the next leg. I'll be on my way back to the rally soon. So, have a very Happy Birthday George. WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!