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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I'm On A Boat M*th*F*cka! 2010 SFKM Karaoke Prom

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Damn! This was one of the most fun Karaoke events of the year! On a boat in San Francisco Bay singing Karaoke, can it get any better? Actually, yes. The event: The 2010 San Francisco Karaoke Mafia Karaoke Prom. In attendance: Many members of the Karaoke Mafia, including no other than our generously clad, yet gracious hostess Glenora Kravitz, from the California Chapter of the Colorado City FLDS! Sister Glenn's unwavering devotion to musical polyamory is legendary within the boating community.

We arrived to Jack London Square at 7pm, and several minutes later were cruising the bay. Everyone had dressed fabulously; guys in their suits, gals in their prom dresses, and one guy who wore his gym shorts over his tuxedo. Was he in a rush to get to the prom? Jocks and Cheerleaders on one side, Stoners and Geeks on the other--A maritime version West Side Story! Nevertheless, a truce was agreed upon by the warring factions for the sake of the Prom. No ambush attacks on this night. Song battles would be the decider.

Matt and Mafia Don Glenny Kravitz Loggins-Messina sang The Lonely Island's "I'm on A Boat". Yeah, f*ck with the Mafia and see what happens. Next, a group of cheerleaders commandeered the stage to perform "Hey Mickey" and I swear that Amy had channelled the spirit of Toni Basil! A Jock named Rob tried to pick up Heidi from his nemesis social group, which in turn opened the flood gates to a hugging fest of epic proportions. Meanwhile, The Don's Lieutenant, Ken "The Fixer"  FateLucci, charmed the ladies. Not to be outdone, that guy wearing the gym shorts over his pants, that was none other than Mo "The Maestro" DJiossi. Matt "The Mattson" Mattelano was the muscle while his gal Nara glowered at him for being all work and no play... Some people noticed the abundance of Mafiosi in the room, and had called the Navy to intervene. Admiral Lindsay and her fleet of warships had arrived in time to keep the "The Family" in check.

Alabaster and Kelsey had flown in from The Cotton Club to celebrate with their old friends. I was lucky enough to sneak a photo with the beautiful Jennifer, a.k.a. Ginger McKenna while her man Ace was out takin' a leak. Michelle was not affected by all the commotion and sang blissfully, while D.a.--a master of the faux-guitar--had the crowd foaming at the mouth with his incredible air-riffs. Bruce and Janny came to sing, and Janny invited me to sing harmony to her lead vox in Oasis' "Wonderwall". And finally, Tana led the Cheerleaders in a rally that had the crowd on it's feet.

Sadly, the 2010 SFKM Karaoke Prom had to end. Many people, starry-eyed and exhausted, had plans to crash a house parties, while others tried to sneak into a bar for some drinks. One couple was spotted near MLK getting it on in the back the guy's father's car. Ahhh, the joys of youth...

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